There is a mistake everyone makes about relationships.
Thinking they will be easy.
Relationships are not easy because people do them unconsciously:
- Becoming codependent like our parents became OR
- People run from one relationship to the next trapped in a nightmare pattern of self abuse. Like a new life in a new dynamic of a new world only to wake to find it’s all the same.
That relationships are “easy” is an illusion of Romantic Idealism. The reality the deeper real view, is that relationships are places where consciousness can grow, where soul can evolve, where feelings can deepen if we step past the wounded emotional controlling layer.
If you can do this for yourself in a relationship then you are awake and growing by working consciously with the reflection of yourself as displayed by the living expression of who your partner is that your soul invited in. This serves you as long as it serves your soul, who is the dreamer dreaming you into existence.
What is challenging or “difficult”in relationships, is if the other person isn’t meeting you with their consciousness and projecting their un-integrated shadow aspects onto you instead of seeing you as a gift of a reflection of themselves. You being an opportunity (not an obligation) to help them to evolve themselves and the purpose of relationship.
If on the other hand you are in relationship with someone who can meet you with heightened consciousness, then you have the opportunity to fly…
Then the relationship truly becomes EASY because now you have the consciousness tools, the self mastery, to navigate the challenges that previously caused pain. You both understand the nature of the “soul game“. They understand that it’s not you that is the problem, but their own poison that is coming up to be felt, seen and healed. They hold onto this integration like a baby bird to nurture that wounded aspect in themselves and the real gift of the relationship.
With consciousness on both sides of the dynamic it allows an alchemy to take place and a deeper love comes into being. The fragrance of love.
We can call this consciousness “Being the parent of the situation“. If both people can parent themselves on their side of the relationship and stay in their ease then ease of relating arrives in the relationship.
So this is the real and first challenge.
To find another soul hungry to play at this level.
It’s not easy to find such a partner.