Ego vs. Soul: finding back to my true nature

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Amanda :
“My/ our true nature is beautiful, unique and needs nothing. It is simply, without judgement. It doesn’t want to achieve anything, has no expectations. It only wants to remain in the state of being, enjoying the precious moment.

The soul IS, without ifs and buts .. in connection with the universe and the All she knows that she does not need anything on the outside. For everything she needs, she already carries within herself. The unconditional love, the connection and the purpose. She is greater than anything I can imagine .. because she is everything.

The only thing keeping me from this nature is my head, my ego.. with all its beliefs, expectations, judgements and patterns. All these conceal my true nature, preventing me from feeling this endless vastness and unconditional love. But it is there, lying under the surface and only waiting for me to be able to see, to be able to step into my power and recognize myself for who I really am. I have been very fortunate to get a glimpse of this buried beauty twice recently.. In this power there is no history, no future, no expectations.
Because I AM now, I AM at every moment.

So currently my mind and my soul are having an inner conversation. My soul knows that she is perfect the way she is NOW. She accepts and loves me unconditionally. She’s calling me with her sweet voice, asking me to see, whispering soft words of recognition.
My mind keeps getting in the way of that calling. For my mind and ego have learned by the innumerable experiences of my life that I’m not perfect the way I am. And my ego attempts to compensate this imperfection, looking for acceptance, recognition and love on the outside to balance the perceived deficiency. Not knowing that his perception of reality is based on lies.

My ego wants to attach itself to things on the outside, which makes him feel loveable.. especially to people, relationships, partners.. because it doesn’t know that it can also give itself everything it needs and is longing for. Therefore it is projecting the lack and the neediness on the outside.
My soul wants to let go and give herself in to faith, because she knows that she is always connected with everything, with love and thus there is no reason to hold on to anything, there is no need for projections.

And so the fear and the clinging of my ego… and the love and the letting go of my soul are standing face to face, defining a polarity in me. In certain moments I am overcome by fear. I fall into deep emotions and my ego is telling me the story of suffering and lack. These moments are very painful and I catch myself wanting to run away. But then I turn around look the fear in the eye, with the fierceness of a tiger and the softness of a butterfly in the wind.. practicing to accept my fear, to be with her an to send her love.. knowing that true love knows no judgments, that she doesn’t label these painful feelings as negative, but simply as a state of being.. in deep trust and with the conviction, that exactly this love has the power to transform those feelings into the light.

And the next moment this unconditional love for myself and for everything overcomes me again.. Because love knows that everything is just right as it is.

So this is currently a back and forth between fear and love. But each time I am able to step into the freedom of acceptance.. accepting my fear, anger and sadness.. I feel that the love is getting stronger and the fear weaker.. until one day I can eventually dissolve and transform completely into light.

Gradually I am recognizing all the situations that trigger these feelings in me as a gift.. and I realize that all the forms of my weakness are my true strengths. Because they offer me the opportunity to grow on them, to transform them with my love, until eventually nothing remains except a state of being in unconditional love.

And I hear the ever-growing call, the call of my soul in all it’s light. A certainty that rises slowly in me.. a voice getting louder, like the roar of a lion.. I already have everything, I AM already everything I need.

And i let go and let myself fall.. I surrender to purpose, I surrender to faith, I surrender to love.”

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